I’ve been thinking for a while about creating a blog about polyamory the day I’d consider myself a pro. The day I would be knowledgeable enough for other to benefit from my hard-earned experience and wisdom in non-monogamy. But then a friend shook my self-assessment by saying that my polycule and I were Jedis of polyamory, while he still considered himself a Padawan (***EDIT: 3 years later, you’d call him a Jedi too!) I laughed big time, then told him we were all Padawans trying not to give into the dark side of the force. But it still made me think… If I compare myself to more seasoned polyamorists out there, I still have a lot of work to do before I consider helping or inspire anyone through my modest experience…
The Journey
But if I compare myself to the neophyte that I was 3 years ago, the one who started a triad before even knowing that there was a word to describe this type of improbable relationship (The story of our beginnings can be read in my book Compersion: Polyamory Beyond Jealousy.) If I compare myself with past-me who decided to walk the growth path of polyamory with both determination and apprehension, who wondered with a shiver in the back if she could ever bear to see her husband kissing his girlfriend in front of her, we could say I’ve come a long way!
My husband and I have been in triad with Jasmine for a little over a year, and in quad with another couple for a few months. I would say that to successfully live this type of polyamorous configuration, we have overcome many of our fears and and transcended many of our limiting beliefs. Considering this, it’s possible that I have a few things to say, one or two anecdotes to tell, and some advice to give to those who are at the beginning of this beautiful but oh! so terrifying adventure that is polyamory.
And it seems that experience and wisdom come by making mistakes, and mistakes, I’ve made them all!
Polyamory is a journey in self-discovery. This blog is meant to carry some indications about the pitfalls to avoid and the shortcuts to take.
Looking forward to your questions and comments,
Hypatia
